My mom eloped to Vegas. So weird.

Well. First things first. My mom and Larry eloped to Vegas like a couple of drunk Britney Spearses. My ever-classy mother felt that the most appropriate way to let me know about this highly shocking development was to text me a picture of her naked-for-16-years-ring finger with a nice, shiny ring on it! What the what?! The highly shocking part comes with the fact that they have been best friends since we moved to Purcell when I was 10. They don’t kiss or hold hands or make goo-goo eyes at each other so I was fooled. I really thought they were just friends. Friends who eat lunch together every day, go to a movie every weekend, go on vacations together and…wait a minute… Here are the details of the wedding: The ring came from Pawn Stars and they went to a walk up chapel. If you know Larry, then you won’t be disappointed-yes, he did wear a gray t-shirt. But don’t worry, when I suspiciously asked,  my mom assured me that “It was a nice gray t-shirt. It said ‘Wrangler’ on it.”

I don’t mean to sound annoyed because, actually, the appropriate response should probably be “about time!” Larry’s already like a step-dad to me (a really good one, too) so this will make it simpler when I’m explaining to people how I afforded to get out of jail that one time or who talked my head off on the phone for two hours while I was at their party. Now, I can just say, “Oh, it was my step-dad.” Instead of the much more confusing, “Oh, it’s my mom’s best friend. They’ve known each other forever and he kinda takes care of us kids. No, it’s not creepy. No, he’s not a loser. No, he and my mother are not secretly doing ‘it.’ No, they aren’t! Stop saying that, you perv!” Yeah, that’ll definitely work better. It is weird, though. And, sorry Mom, I refuse to stop saying that it’s weird for at least 97 more days. Since I can’t find a picture of the two of them, you get this instead: That’s my mom making out with an unnamed fellow. She’s such a skank! Haha she’s going to kill me for this picture. That was all just a joke because I just realized I do have a picture of the two of them. There now, that’s better. And yes, Larry is wearing a Texas Tech jacket. Jerk. That was on a Saturday in November, just so you know. He does these things to be obstinate. Anyway, enough about those two little precious nut cases.

I got an email from the guy whose camera I found and he was extremely grateful that I contacted him. I mailed that yesterday. So, there’s a little lesson for everyone. If your camera has a case, put your contact info in there!

Also, I got my first letter from my Compassion sponsored child. It is wonderful. It made my heart feel full. It’s more than likely that I’m going to be moving to Nicaragua soon so I can hug him everyday. Maybe if I ever get batteries for my camera, I’ll take a photo to share with you of the picture he drew me. So sweet!

I have a potentially thrilling weekend coming up but I’m not telling what it is yet. Standby.

One thought on “My mom eloped to Vegas. So weird.

  1. Aunt Sandi

    Knowing absolutely nothing about your mom and her “friend”, so I’m just guessing…I think they just wanted to beat you and Spencer to the altar…

    Reply

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