I have been doing a lot of reflecting here lately. Okay, I always do a lot of reflecting. But I feel a little looney because I haven’t had time to write any of it down. And my thoughts never make too much sense to me until I get them written down. It’s like when I’m thinking, I’m trying to connect concepts but it’s really hard to keep track of what I was thinking about the first one while I figure out the second one. So, if this thing seems a bit discombobulated, that’s because it is. Get it?! Okay, great! Moving on!
So, I don’t have a whole bunch of time to write about everything I’d like to write about right now because Spencer’s out of town and I’m in charge of everything for a few days. Which means I’m tired, basically. But, here are the high spots I wanted to hit, at least.
I’ve been thinking A LOT about stay-at-home-mommying recently. Mainly because a childless person I know recently told me I “clearly have too much time on my hands.” HAHAHA So clueless. Everyone who has a kid knows what a ridiculous statement that is, whether they stay home or not. I don’t blame the people without kids for not “getting it.” Not too long ago, I was one and I didn’t get it, either. But, there are also some moms who work away from home who seem to think staying at home is a cakewalk. I get that, too. I know that working moms have to take care of stuff at home AND be gone to work all day. I don’t know what that’s like but I can guess that it’s pretty hectic and tiring. So maybe my life isn’t as hectic. But, it’s not like Jack just plays quietly by himself while I do housework. Seriously, if keeping kids were easy, daycare would be a lot cheaper (BTW, you couldn’t pay me enough money to run a daycare so props to those childcare workers with that special gift!) Yep, I sure do stay in my PJs half the day. But, do you know why that is? Because it’s pointless to put on decent clothes when no adult is going to see you and you know you’re going to end up with puke, poop and food on you before too long anyway. And do I sit around watching the Today show while drinking my coffee? Um, no. I do have the Today show on just to hear some conversation and I did make coffee for Spencer but I’m probably not going to get to sit down and drink it all at once. I kinda just take big swigs when I pass my cup which has to stay on an out-of-reach surface so the little guy doesn’t get burned.
Listen, I’m by no means complaining about being a stay-at-home mom. But it’s no walk in the park for me (Maybe for some mamas who are naturally home-bodies and have nurturing, selfless personalities it is super fun but I bet it’s still not easy). There have been lots of days when I really, really, really wanted to have a job to go to. I want to talk about important things with grown ups. I want to wear nice clothes. I want to be able to stop at a convenience store and be able to go in without having to wake a baby up. Seriously. I have been jealous of Spencer for some crazy things. I envy his lunch hour. I remember those. I envy his ability to stop anywhere he wants between here and work. I envy his quiet drive to and from work- and I hate driving. I envy the fact that since he has a job, he is the one who gets to stay in bed when the baby’s up six nights per week (he gives me Friday nights off so that I don’t flee the country). He is on a work trip to Dallas right now and I’m jealous of that. Honestly, who would wish they could go to a sales meeting in Dallas? This girl would! But it’s okay. Because that’s not the deal. And I could get a job if that’s what I wanted to do. But when I weigh the pros and cons, being home with Jack wins. And it always will as long as I’m fortunate enough to have the choice. But all I’m saying is, no mom who is doing a good job has it easy (I’m also not saying Spencer has it easy. I know he busts his tail at a stressful job to keep us all in shoes). Do some have it easier than others? No doubt. But trust me when I say my life was comparatively stressless and carefree before I had a baby. Including being pregnant.
Maybe our generation is just poorly prepared for mommy-hood, especially those of us who got old and set in our own selfish ways before we started having kids. I mean, I’m sure our mothers would laugh at how baffling this has all been for me. But we were raised to expect to have our cake and eat it to. We were brought up thinking that we could have a high-powered career, a Martha Stewartesque home, a tight little behind and be great moms all at the same time. Maybe some women can. I can’t. But that’s what I’ve been striving for all this time. The impossible. And that’s what I have to wrap my head around from time to time. Sacrifice. Let it sink in. I can’t have EVERYTHING. That’s all there is to it. What a novel idea. God is teaching this lady some lessons these days, let me tell ya. I just hope I learn ’em.
So, with all that being said, here are a few things you should check out.
In this letter, Dear Mom on the iPhone, this lady says what many appear to be thinking. Thanks for the guilt-trip, but mind your own business. No, really. Do. The gal over at Fried Okra agrees. So do about a million others if you care to Google it.
I’ve got a friend who has three adopted boys. The oldest is about 2 1/2, I think, and the other two are like, five months and one month or something really close to that. So, yeah. Her life is like, basically, psycho. I mean, the younger two aren’t even like having twins because they are probably just far enough apart that they don’t have similar schedules. WHEW. Anyway, she wrote this post recently which touched my heart. Then her sister shared this post which made me feel relieved and I really wanted to high-five the author.
And then on a different note, my sister shared this post today which made me so super glad that I am not the only one who feels this way. It’s about raising daughters in a world that tells them their main goal in life is to be sexy. And even though I don’t have a daughter, I am one. And I know what it’s like. And I know how so many times young men do not realize the emotional effect they can have on a girl and how vulnerable she may be. They may not realize how different sex is for men and for women, especially when they are young and reckless. Ladies, even if you never gave a piece of yourself away because you thought it would make him love you, I bet you have friends who did. So, mothers of daughters, yes, teach your girls how to treat themselves and their sisters. And mothers of sons, let’s teach them how to respect young ladies. And dads, you have a major role in this one, too. MAJOR. Maybe even more major than mom’s role for the girls because the relationship you have with your daughter will shape her relationships with other men as she gets older.
Alright, my head feels much more empty and peaceful now, how about yours?! I think that’s all I have to say about that. Love ya, mean it!