I have been struggling lately. When something is on my mind or I don’t know what to do, I long to talk about it with someone. But sometimes it’s best not to say anything (because it involves other people and you don’t know if you should be talking about them or not). And that’s when I would normally write about it in some vague blog and hope that would relieve the pressure to share without putting anybody on the spot. But sometimes it’s best not to.
And I know that what I’m supposed to do is pray about it. But sometimes that’s not very satisfying because I want to know what to do NOW. I get anxiety about uncertainty. I have trouble just being and waiting. I need to take some action!
Today, as I thought about the things I long to say, I vacillated between emotions and approaches and perspectives. I am so afraid of letting myself hold these things in and continue to be hurt by them but I am so afraid of hurting someone else by talking about them because we all know I can really let fly with the wrong words and the wrong tone when I get going. So as I prayed today I kept remembering to “wait on the Lord.” (Ps 27:14) Just wait, Heather.
The world is not going to fall apart if I don’t fix everything today. I think I will just wait on Him to do something or to show me what to do because “God is not the author of confusion” (1 Cor 14:33). If I am confused, then I have not heard from Him. Right?
Thanks for letting me talk this out in a vague blog post. I had no idea what was in my head until I read it.
ALSO: This is important and I came back to a finished yet unpublished post just to add it. I have written here and elsewhere about the daily devotional I’ve been doing, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. I wrote that I was skeptical of it before I began because from what little I had seen, the entries seemed to be her putting words in God’s mouth. You can read my post about that here.
But, today I saw this link. The question we are discussing starts right around minute 6. I have a lot of trust in what Hank has to say because of his vast, amazing knowledge of the Bible. He may possibly have the entire thing memorized. It seems Hank’s concern with Jesus Calling is 1. that people use devotionals as a replacement for the Bible 2. that people will read Sarah’s words and believe they are God’s and 3. that Sarah makes things up sometimes. I totally agree on #1 and I want to explain my point of view on #2. As I read the devotionals, in my mind, it is like I am reading Sarah’s prayer journal and she is just sharing what she felt lead to write down, NOT that these are God’s words. As far as #3, I have no idea about that but I would hate to think that I need to research the personal history of every author whose works I read. But maybe I do?
Anyway, I wanted everyone to have the chance to hear Hank’s thoughts lest I recommend something crazy to everybody. I take his concerns very seriously.